My New Stage Name...

...emulates greatest name ever, Rip Torn. I'd like you to meet Mr. Eat Shat.

A Special Song For All Of...You!

You can skip ahead about 3 minutes if you like.

Let's Put A Smile On That Face!

A taste for the theatrical.
HAHAHAHahaahAHAHAHAHAHAaaha!!!

1.6 lbs

We have this new highly accurate digital scale in our bathroom. I totally weight myself before and after using the toilet.

Excited

New album next week.

Here's when i fell in love with them (about 2 minutes 25 seconds in).

Murder is a Crime

So i was browsing ebay for a cheap, beat-up, used fender telecaster to gut and hopefully look cool. I type "telecaster" in search and BAM! Second one down looks perfect at the nano second first glance. Then, I read the title of the auction.

Atrocious

This $900 guitar is so effin' punk rock my balls sweat off. The wear-&-tear doesn't look fake at all! Now i dont' have to play the fucker for years in bars and basements rockin' out with your cock out (or jam with clam). Battle scars come factory standard. I can't think of a better tribute GUITAR GOD Joe Strummer and his tasty licks.


LLLLLAAAAAAAAAAAAMMMMEEEEEEEEEE!!!!!!!!!!!!

Atrociously Yours,
Andy

My Sister Feels Bad...

for judging strangers who don't know how to dress well. Her complaints are very mild. So to make her feel better i said "bitch your outfit looks retarded. What makes you think you should be seen in public. Why don't you wear sweatpants and kill yourself."

Or Something Like That,
Andy

Hahaha HAhahahaHaHAhAAhAhAahahahah!!!

that is all.

Cuteoverload 11 O'Clock News

If this doesn't get you hot and bothered...

you don't have a pulse.

Live From Memphis Music Video Showcase

The two videos i did with The Spitshine made it into the showcase. Check it out here. Be there if you can. It'll be fuckin' cool.

-A

Why Her?

Adam: Why'd you make her?

God: So you wouldn't be lonely.

Adam: Yeah, but why'd you make her so...soft...and pretty and smell nice?

God: Well, so you'd like her.

Adam: But why'd you make her so stupid?

God: So she'd like you.

Apneas (Without Breath)

So, my mom has sleep apnea. It's where one has episodes of pauses in breathing during sleep. It makes her very tired during the day. She'll need an oxygen tank thingy during sleep. My sister said they [doctors i guess] said it wasn't too serious, but I'm still frightened beyond belief.

I spout out philosophical drivel every now and then, but I've never really faced mortality. I cower. You win. I fear a life not lived.


Eternally Yours,
A

If These Walls Could Talk They'd Lie Too

Here's the latest Spitshine video. There will be more in the coming months. I am doing my M.A. Thesis work with them. Keep an eye out.

I Have

...made the biggest mistake in the history of big mistakes.

A Cigarette in England

So i got gay bashed and I'm not even gay. I'm ok though (if you're reading this you probably already know). Just a few inconvenient bruises. My sore jaw is helping me get over my teeth grinding problem. So that's a plus.

School started today. I have no schedule yet so it feels fucked up. Walking around the buildings I didn't feel the same for sure.

Stagnant.

So's Your Mom,
Andy

Your Face Looks Like Baghdad

August 15

National Shit on Andy Day.

how did you celebrate?

& I Have A New Picture Frame

i like it very much.

What Am I Doing Here?

What will I do anywhere? I'm sure I'll feed myself. I don't really care for revolutions. I've yet to find a wine I really like . As for women... *shrugs* and I can't play music or sing very well.

I pissed off a redneck in McDonald's today. I'll write about it soon. It was fuckin' funny.

My side hurts right now. Monday Chevy Chase will be weighed down dragging his ass end across three states. I leave you a little older and just as cloudy as before. A little clarity would be nice, but isn't that always the story?

All I really hope for is love and affection.

Marry Me Darling & I'll Untie You From Railroad Tracks

Woot!

Filipino Prisoners remake "Thriller"

Hot Damn Bob Evans!

"I've always had one principle. You know what it is? Takin' a chance. If ya don't take a chance ya stay still and if you stay still you only get older."

-Robert Evans

i want to remember this later.

My second senior year in college I worked at the Atrium Art Gallery. This day I was working a one hour shift and had parked out at the meters. 3 minutes before I had to lock up and leave this hipster-to-be freshmen fucker walks in and mopes around the gallery. After he is there for ten minutes I approach him to politely ask him to leave so I could close the gallery. Before I can ask he starts bitching about having to sculpt something for class. Eventually he includes me in the conversation. He says in his troubled voice, "Tell me something. Change my life."

I reply, "Fuck you. Change your own life. It's not my job."

He says some more boring shit that i probably was thinking about when I was a freshmen art student. I finally I to lock up and head out to my car praying not to have a ticket on my windshield. The punk cost me $10.

I'd Rather Be Poor & Happy...

...than...

All You Need Is Beatles Songs To Quote

Dat De Da De Da

I've Got Poop On Me

Last week i locked my keys in my car downtown. My spare car keys are in the house. Sarah and Christopher were in a movie; therefor, my spare keys to my house are in a movie. The fucking bugs were eating me alive. Luckily Kerry was on here way to me already for some reason which i still don't understand. But we drove to midtown and got a wire hanger and came back to the car to fish my keys off the passenger seat. The passenger window was cracked a tiny bit and after a while i was able to hook the keyring. The flimsy hanger bobs up and down scaring the shit out of me. But Kerry and her tiny fingers were able to pull the keys through the tiny crack.

Scary shit, but was actually really fun looking back.

Bitterly Your,
Andy

My Farts Smell Like Spaghetti Sauce

Discuss!

Blues City

I have about 2-2.5 weeks before i leave Memphis. this makes me sad.

discuss...

Top 5 Movies of 2007 so far...

1. Knocked Up
2. Grindhouse
3. Sicko
4. 300
5. (nothing worth mentioning or i can't remember)


i'm thinking about getting tatoo. from my shoulder blade over my shoulder to a short sleeve. section of the tree of life.

discuss...

-a

Bittersweet Polka

I'm finally starting to feel a good foundation for my thesis film. So I'm stoked about coming home, but I'm tore up about leaving here. The prospect of having to start over again here (or anywhere) in the future isn't appealing. It's been taxing enough. Memphis is a good place. A lot of problems that won't be solved by the good people running away. They like me here, and i like them.

If anyone is displeased with this, I'm sorry, but i have work to do. (says Walt)

-andy

List of saddest shit on Earth: UPDATE!!!

+Alley Bum outside of Madison Hotel sleeping on sidewalk using new teddy bear as pillow

+Married man: "if we're even gonna have sex this week."

+Superman crying while masturbating.

You would cry to...

Thank you everyone for the Birthday greetings and thanks mom for birthing me.

23 is supposed to be a mystic number. i can't really be sure about anything definitively significant happening while i was 23 years old. we'll find out soon enough i guess. i did meet some people though. i'll put my money on them...

a sigh to blow out the candles,
andy

Shrimp Po' Boy?

More like, Shrimp Oh No Boy.

*courtesy flush*

Before I Forget...

2 PM! not 3...2PM

Lil' Film Fest 6 is this Saturday (June 16) @ the Media Co-Op on Cooper. I think its in the First Congregation Church. The address is 1000 S. Cooper, Memphis, TN.

The theme is Free Speech; "Say What?" Come see it. It is FREE! There are two awards. One the audience votes on. I have a piece in there *nudge*.

It should be fun!

-a

Note to self...

gay zombies.

uh oh

I haven't cracked a pun or a bad joke since...i can't remember when.
Ummm, what's going on?

I can't get no...

have you ever lost your cell phone for a decent amount of time and been like, "oh shit i hope i didn't miss any phone calls." then you find it and no one has called you. You haven't missed any phone calls but you're bummed out that no one calls you.

watch this for now. (this did preceed Neutral Milk Hotel's In the Aeroplane Over the Sea). I hear you Huge. I hear you.

Mom's Birthday

today's my mother's birthday. she won't answer her cell phone cause she never turns it on. she's out of town for a conference. i can't wish her a happy birthday over the phone. so, this will have to do.

i love you mom.

so far Memphis is pretty cool. the people are very cool. i think it's just a bigger Muncie though. i'm working on a list of parallels that i'll have up here.

There's this guy living in a doorway in the alley across the street from the LiveFromMemphis stuido. he's been there as long as i've been in town acording to Christopher. The first time i saw him he appeared dead but he's moved at least once a day. He went shopping today! he had a new bag of goodies. He's living downtown in the middle of it all and no one gives him shit (i guess). he must have a good deal on that doorway.

there's a lot happening and i'm falling behind. i'm really not motivated to write this. just know that i miss you all back home. this gets scary here and there and thinking about you guys is though enough. check out Kerry's blog. it's well written, entertaining and she'll probably keep you up to date on me more than my lazy ass will. here's some highlights involving me:

Graceland, Too: Like French Mustard

Corn the Godfather style

Professional Cocksuck,
Andy

My Dearest Hannah,

Nobody's called me a yankee yet.

-a